Welcome To The Family
by plannedbyReaperLight
Summary: L has concluded that Light is Kira but due to his own conflicted feelings instead of arresting Light or having him executed as he promised he kidnaps Light and dumps him at Wammy's House...
1. Meet The Successors

**A/N:** _Filling a kink request for some fluff over at Death Note Kink 2. This is an AU set around the plot point where Light and L are being "friends" at the university but before Misa came on the scene and it diverges from there. _

_I do not own Death Note._

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**Chapter 1 Meet The Successors**

_"Hey, Mello—cut it out!"_

The words floated to him through the layers of inky nothingness as something poked at him mercilessly.

_"Am I dead?" _He thought as the annoying poking sensation came again. Surely Ryuk would have told him that Mu involved being poked for all eternity… On second thought maybe he wouldn't have. He was an asshole that way. Light stirred at the escalating chittering sounds grating on the edge of his consciousness.

"Shit he's awake!"

Light's eyes opened a crack and he caught a flurry of movement all around him. Normally this would have concerned him greatly but for some reason his thoughts were coming to him very slowly. Groggily Light glanced around the room out of the corner of his eye. He had yet to wake up enough to remember how to move the rest of his body and the world around him was still hazy. It was a strange room he had never been in before-some kind of office or study, Westernized-style… maybe Victorian.

And there was Ryuk (Light had never been so glad to see his ugly face—at least it was familiar) looming behind him as always but looking exceptionally amused. That meant something either very good or very bad had just happened to him. Light was guessing it was the latter.

_Alright, calm down. What's the last thing you remember?_

The last thing he remembered was Ryuuzaki asking him to meet with him in his hotel room...

"Ryuuzaki!" Light bolted upright in alarm.

...but Ryuuzaki hadn't been there and the room had filled with knockout gas.

Light tried to cut through the persistent mental haze to assess the situation. He was lying on (or had been unceremoniously dumped onto) a rather expensive-looking red candy-striped sofa. This wasn't the hotel room. This probably wasn't even in Japan…

Light shifted on the couch and he felt the comforting weight of the Death Note where he had sewn it into the lining of his jacket… He couldn't believe this! They hadn't even searched him? Maybe whoever had taken him had assumed that Kira would never carry the murder weapon on him. Normally that would have been right but when those crazies took the hotel hostage it hadn't exactly been a normal day. Seeing his father and Ryuuzaki (the invincible L?) being ordered around at gunpoint… it _broke _something in him, clearly, since he made such a stupid mistake! What he should have done as Kira was sit back and let his enemies finish each other off. What he did do… hadn't made much sense to him and it landed him here.

_Why? Why couldn't I just…_ Light clenched his fist. _They threatened my father! And even L deserves better than being shot in the head by some petty thug! …Doesn't he? But… dead is dead… So why?_

Light blinked in confusion and several sets of eyes blinked back. That's when he made the brilliant observation that he was surrounded by children. (Well, that explained the annoying chittering and the poking.) And not just any children-they all looked vaguely like Ryuuzaki—many of them had big eyes with dark circles around them, some of them sat hunched almost but not quite the way Ryuuzaki sat… That was creepy… it was like he was surrounded by a mob of tiny zombie Ls.

_Maybe they're L's kids? _Light stifled a giggle. Somehow he just couldn't picture L having children or having sex for that matter… at least not with a woman... Light idly wondered what they drugged him with as he tried to dislodge that uncomfortable mental image of L having sex. He wasn't… There was no way he could possibly be getting aroused by that! He wasn't gay! And certainly not with L! Light desperately thought unnsexy thoughts culminating with the image of Ryuk having sex and he threw up in his mouth a little bit.

"You're awake," buzzed a familiar voice filter, Light startled and quickly found the source. He pulled himself up from the sofa and stalked towards the laptop on the desk where a familiar gothic letter L lit up the screen. Light pushed past the noisy mob of kids. Some of them were whining at him, asking him questions, pulling his sleeve, or otherwise demanding his attention. Light ignored L's collection of mini-me _Children of the Corn _for the time being and focused solely on that laptop.

"Quiet kids, mommy and daddy are talking," Light idly muttered to the whining children.

When Light and L had one their mental face-offs the rest of the world might as well not exist. It was just the two of them in a world of their own—they were two gods locked in epic battle for the fate of humanity. For Light, the distractions ceased to matter. There was only L—his equal, his opposite, his perfect nemesis. Hate like this only comes once in a lifetime.

_So L was behind this… or did some annoying third party DARE to get in the way of our game? It is possible. L has other enemies… (Is Ryuuzaki okay?) Is this really MY L talking to me right now or is it some sort of proxy or copy cat? Why did he bring me here?_

At one point Light had volunteered to let L lock him up in order to show that he was cooperating with this investigation but he only offered because he knew L would never go for it because Light's father, the Chief of Police, would never allow it… But if L was doing it now… he was so very screwed.

"Ryuuz… L! Kidnapping is a serious criminal offense!"

There was an odd buzzing on the mike. Perhaps it was a sigh. "Surely you know why you are here, Light-kun. Only people on the taskforce knew about the attack on the hotel. Kira intervened when Souichiro Yagami, your _father _was threatened. And I traced the hack to the government site back to your computer. It all points to you, Light," the disembodied voice said tersely.

"I swear, it's a mistake! I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for…"

"Light Yagami, you are Kira! Are you ready to tell me how you kill?"

"Kira?" The children gasped. For a moment Light had forgotten they were there. They had gone eerily quiet when L began talking but now they all seemed to come alive at the announcement of his identity. Some of them backed away while others glared at him defiantly, but all of them were dissecting him with L's trademarked wide-eyed stare… it was like someone had photoshopped L's eyes onto a whole classroom of children. It was… uncanny to say the least.

"You're Kira?"

"I'm not Kira. Look at that, L! You're needlessly scaring the kids!"

"Hardly," the laptop replied.

"…Why are there kids here?"

"Naturally there would be children in an orphanage, Light-kun."

"Wait… you're detaining me in an _orphanage?_"

"Correct. If you attempt to leave the grounds… you see that band around your ankle? It will administer a powerful sedative that will put you into a medically induced coma until we choose to give you the counter drug… IF we choose to give you the counter drug..."

"Unbelievable! This… this is illegal and unethical and… you're violating so many human rights right now…" Light sputtered for once so angry he could barely communicate.

"If I turned you over to the authorities they would tear you apart looking for the source of your powers, and assuming Light-kun with his pretty face would survive one night in prison they would execute you soon afterwards. Be grateful that I am protecting you, Light-kun."

Light gawked at the computer screen as he realized the implications of that statement.

"You think I'm… and… That… that doesn't make sense!" When L first announced himself as Kira's eternal rival he had gloated on how he would see him sentenced to death…

"_YOU PROMISED!_" A blonde boy in black pajamas suddenly wailed, interrupting Kira and L's special moment. "L! You promised me you'd find Kira and have him executed!"

Light was disturbed by this. The blonde kid was small, thin, probably no older than Sayu, and he was _very serious _about wanting him dead.

"I admit that Kira's murder spree has made me question my own stance on capital punishment. I believe criminals like Light-kun can be rehabilitated."

"I'm not a criminal! I'm not Kira! You've got this all wrong! How could you get this so wrong?"

"Fine! If you won't do it…!" The ignored blonde boy suddenly had a shard of glass in hand and was lunging at Light. He was stopped just short of reaching his target when he was restrained by a boy wearing goggles.

"Mello has just earned detention and no chocolate for an entire week..."

"That isn't fair! He's Kira!" Mello shouted.

"Two weeks," came the emotionless reply.

Mello fell silent.

"You are allowed to act in self-defense but I do not want Light-kun harmed. He is now a resident of this House and all that that entails."

A pall of reverent silence fell over the room.

"I am entrusting you all with a very important mission. I need you to keep an eye on Kira. He's very cunning. Remember what I told you about monsters…"

"He's a monster that always tells lies," the white-haired boy replied, looking up from his puzzle to lock eyes with Light and give him a creepy grin. Light hated him instantly. He had all of L's obnoxiousness and none of his… better qualities? It made him miss the real L's company…

_That's ridiculous. I do not miss L! The bastard just left me here to rot… wherever this is. With no chance to… there's NO evidence! It's just his word against mine!_

"That's right…" L agreed with the creepy child. "He will be rehabilitated here."

"L, wait…" Light pleaded.

"Daddy?" Light whirled around, about to shout in frustration at whoever dared touch him only to find it was one of the youngest children, a small girl tugging at his hand.

"What?"

"You said 'mommy and daddy are talking.' So Kira must be daddy and L must be mommy!"

The pall of silence broke and the other children began snickering.

_Have they never seen Ryuuzaki in person?_

"That… It was a joke! I—" Light began to explain but the little girl looked so heartbroken that he stopped.

_Orphans. Ryuuzaki said they were orphans!_

"I don't believe this! Ryuuzaki you would leave someone you think is… alone with a bunch of emotionally vulnerable orphans? What the f—, _what is wrong with you? _That's child endangerment!"

But L had already cut out his transmission and Light was just shouting at an empty screen.

_"Dammit!"_

The girl began to cry.

Light squirmed. "Hey, I'm sorry. It's okay… I'm not mad at you, okay? I'm sorry I shouted it's just Ryuuzaki… L was being… mean."

"He spared you ungrateful life, Kira. How is that mean?" The blonde who tried to kill him seethed, still looking very much like he wanted to murder him, though he was restrained in the arms of Goggleman.

"L isn't mean! _You're mean!_" Goggles agreed.

"L is mean! Because… because…" Light found himself at a loss to explain the complexities of their relationship to a bunch of kids (and spin it in his favor) when he was finding he himself didn't fully understand it. Why would L go out of his way to protect someone he thought was Kira? They were just enemies, right? "Because he's wrong and it hurts because I consider him to be a very good friend of mine. Imagine if your best friend hated you for something you didn't do! Wouldn't that make you feel angry?"

When Light finished his monologue he glanced back to see that his audience, all the children, were peering at him curiously. Light wondered why they didn't seem to be afraid of him after what L had told them.

_Of course L had told them that I'm Kira and therefore dangerous…_

"Kira and L are best friends?" enthused one of the girls.

_But… when I was that age "dangerous" meant cool and interesting..._Well come to think of it, it's something he never quite grew out of—he was still fascinated by dangerous things like Shinigami and murder notebooks...

"Why heart attacks? Why not make their heads explode or something?" Pested one of the boys.

"I read about heart attacks! It's like a really painful way to die!"

_For them it must be like going to a day at the zoo. See the funny animals. Lions and tigers and Kiras! Oh my!_

"I'm not Kira!" Light declared with obvious annoyance.

"Yeah right!" scoffed that disturbed blonde child that tried to kill him.

_Mello… they called him… No, don't even go there! He's just a kid!_

"You're not L's friend!" barked out a black-haired British boy in glasses.

Light's eyes narrowed. "What makes you say that?"

"L doesn't have friends, dummy!"

_This… L-factory. School for Ls? In any case this place seems to be teaching these kids to have no respect, to be rude and confrontational. These poor kids are in desperate need of a more positive role model… What am I thinking? I already have a whole world to be guiding! I can't get distracted by something like this… right? Dammit, I really need to be figuring out how to escape…_

Light chuckled. "Really, that's funny. He said he was my friend."

"Then he lied. He's a _liar!_"

Light blinked in confusion. "Did he lie to you?"

"He promised he'd visit after he caught and executed you, Kira."

Light was stunned by this new tidbit of information. All throughout the case L kept discussing his impending death to Light's… discomfort. Sometimes Light suspected that L went into the case fully expecting Kira would kill him… (maybe even _counting _on it? Sometimes Light suspected he had a deathwish what with the way he taunted and humiliated the God of the New World) and he promised these kids he'd come home…

_L, are you really that much of a bastard?_

"I'm not Kira. My name is Light and I'm sure L is very busy... searching for the _real_ Kira."

"Just confess already so L can come home!" The blonde rolled his eyes as he retrieved a chocolate bar from his pocket.

"L said no chocolate." The white-haired boy commented without looking up from his puzzle.

"Fuck that! L isn't here!" Mello shot back and took a big bite out of the chocolate bar before the girl with the black pig tails, in an obviously suicidal move, knocked it out of his hand.

"Mello, _no! _You'll get in worse trouble and you'll get us all in troub—" she began but before she could finish Mello struck her. All present could only watch in horror as the girl stumbled backwards and fell through the glass top coffee table.

"NO!" While the others were still in shock Light rushed in, kneeling beside the girl. To everyone's relief she opened her eyes and began bawling. That was a good sign—it would have been far worse if she remained silent.

Light produced some disinfectant wipes and a roll of bandages from his jacket pocket. Miraculously she only had a few shallow cuts. After Light treated her injuries the girl clung to him, continuing to cry against him. _"Daddy! It hurts!"_

_That's right. It was the girl that had taken to calling him…_

_"Please, it hurts!"_

At a loss Light awkwardly hugged her back and tried to say something reassuring but nothing seemed to work. "You're alright now, okay? I won't let anyone hurt you."

"_He _hurt me!"

Light glared murderously at Mello. "_YOU— YOU DON'T DO THAT!_"

Mello was so stunned with guilt he didn't even bother to mouth back at the source. "M-my chocolate…!" Mello protested weakly. He hadn't meant to…

"_IT DOESN'T MATTER!_"

"_YOU SAW WHAT SHE DID!_" Mello roared back defensively.

"_YOU DON'T HIT GIRLS! EVER!_" Light scolded, without even realizing it repeating the same words his own father had drilled into his skull since he was very young, after his baby sister had first come into the world—that he had to be careful around her, he had to protect her—that's what a Big Brother does... "I don't care what she did or how _annoying_ she is! You're a man, aren't you? _Suck it up!_"

Light mentally declared victory when Mello flinched and a shocked silence fell after his angry outburst… only to be broken when Goggles piped up coming to his buddy's defense. "Never? That's rather traditionalist. What about battered men? What if she was like an axe murderer or something?"

Light ignored them and continued to fuss over the injured girl. The other children watched with interest... and jealousy.

"Then Kira would be whipped" chimed in the white-haired boy. "You carry that stuff with you?" He asked innocently about the bandages, staring at Light with a dangerous interest "Why? Do you get into fights a lot or something?"

Light sighed. "Force of habit. My sister…" Light began to explain but fell silent as the reality of the situation began to sink in. He was going to visit Sayu at her softball practice after his meeting with Ryuuzaki but that was who knew how many hours (_Days?_) ago. Was she okay? (Would he ever even see her again?)

_I have to get out of here._

Meanwhile some of the other kids chattered about Light's shouting.

"Eek! Scary!" another of the girls squeaked out.

"Did you see that scary face?" another "whispered" loudly so that it was audible to everyone. "He's definitely Kira!"

Light rolled his eyes.

"Quiet you guys, I want to hear about Kira's sister!" piped another. "Does she kill people too?"

Light sighed. "Forget it."

"Meanie!"

"There," Light addressed the girl clinging to his leg that he had just finished bandaging up "Is that better?"

"Can you… kiss it and make it better?"

Light sighed but obliged her. "Alright?"

The girl frowned. "It still hurts."

Light sighed again. "That's to be expected. You know, you need to learn to pick you battles. That wasn't too smart picking a fight like that."

"He was being bad!"

"That's true, and standing up against injustice is admirable. However I've been here five minutes and I can see that kid's unstable. It was foolish to attack him directly."

"Then… can you kill Mello for me?" the girl asked innocently.

"_What?_" Light asked in shock.

"He's really mean! He's always mean to me!"

"Me too!" another child chimed in.

"C'mon, he's obviously going to be a criminal one day..."

"Do it Kira!"

Light looked absolutely disgusted. "He's a _child!_ You're _classmate!_"

"Less competition," shrugged another boy.

Alright, Light conceded that maybe they weren't the _Children of the Corn_... they were more like _Lord of the Flies_...

"I'm not a child!" Mello snapped. "You guys!" The blonde gaped at all his classmates who were apparently okay with him being dead.

"Come on, he tried to kill you even!" another egged Kira on.

"_OH, FUCK YOU! ALL OF YOU! YOU CAN ALL JUST SUCK MY DICK!_" the blonde raged and stormed off.

"Language!" Light scolded after him. Mello slammed the door. "Alright kids Ethics 101. This is an orphanage. That means it's a killing-free zone." The mob of children groaned in disappointment. "…And instead of leaping straight to "murder" perhaps we might try talking it out with Mello about what bothers you first…"

"_Boring!_"

"Please? I want to see some blood! That would be so awesome!"

"Hey Kira, how many people would you say you killed?"

"None, because I'm not Kira. And my name is Light. I'd appreciate if you used it…"

"I'm Linda!" piped up the little girl "Can't I call you daddy instead? _Please…?_"

"I—" Light was about to protest but she was looking at him with those huge puppy eyes again. Damn that girl's adorableness. She reminded Light painfully of his sister. He could never deny his little sister anything either. "Alright."

"He's Kira!" the white-haired boy said disgustedly, his curly bangs falling into his face.

"I know, but he's nice! He reminds me of my dad!"

"Wasn't your dad an assassin for hire?" the albino prodded.

"That doesn't matter! He was my father and he was always nice to me!"

_Linda..._"You… you shouldn't tell me your names. I'm not Kira but L thinks I am..."

"He's probably right. He's L," The white-haired boy stated it as if that was all the explanation necessary. Apparently it was as all the other children nodded in agreement.

"You don't get to be L by being wrong," Goggles agreed.

"Well he's _wrong _in this case. But like it or not I am a suspect and you shouldn't expose yourselves to unnecessary danger..."

"You can't touch us! We're using aliases!" announced the resident blonde drama queen from the door. Mello was back or maybe (more likely) he never really left and just stayed to listen at the door.

"Mello, shut up!" hissed Goggles.

"Bite me, Matt!"

Light strolled over to where Mello was, his footfalls echoing in the suddenly silent room until he was standing right in front of him. Light imagined that if his life was a TV show there would no doubt be some awesome lighting effect and an echoing of Latin choirs as he stared down his challenger… and reached out and poked him in the chest.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm touching you, now."

Mello's eyes narrowed in anger and (though he was loathe to admit it) grudging respect that Light would dare to touch him after Mello tried to shank him earlier. That took _cojones_ considering, as far as he knew, Mello might have another home-made weapon on hand. (He didn't but that was beside the point.)

"So you touch kids?" inquired the albino.

"_What?_" Mello and Light demanded in unison.

"Kira touched Mello~."

Mello looked horrified. "_SHUT UP, NEAR!_"

Light made a face. "How crude. Is that what L teaches you at this school?"

"You must admit, the way you said it, it was just asking for it" said Matt.

"Take it up with L. I learned it from him." Light grumbled. He was far more respectful of personal space than a certain detective he couldn't name... Light was struck by a horrified thought: A wealthy, powerful man that was a law unto himself that counted a whole ranch of children as his property... What if L's real name is Michael Jackson? He could have faked his death to become a world famous detective. "Wait, L doesn't… does he?"

Mello stared at him searchingly.

"Why do you _care, _Kira?"

"We never even see him," Near murmured from across the room, his white locks had again fallen in his face.

Light turned and began to walk away.

"Hey!" Mello shouted. "Hey, Kira!" Mello growled as Light continued to ignore him. "Light! I asked you a question! And why did you just touch me?"

Light turned and locked eyes with the younger teen "You shouldn't be so brash. There's a saying where I come from. 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.' You might consider it. You'll live longer."

"Bullshit," the blonde sneered.

"You really should watch your language too."

"Yes, _Dad._" Mello said mockingly.

From behind Light, Linda stuck out her tongue.


	2. Food For Thought

**A/N: **_I own NOTHING!_

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**Chapter 2 Food For Thought **

Just then a loud, clanging bell screamed to life and for a panicked moment Light thought the place was under attack—it was nothing like the soft, almost doorbell- like chimes of his school.

"It's lunch time!" Linda squealed with great enthusiasm "This way, daddy!"

As the children led him into the cafeteria Light suppressed a shudder. Knowing L's eating habits he feared that the kitchen would constitute nothing but candy but to his immediate relief this was not so:

"Roger orders all sorts of foods from around the world—we can get or make whatever we like!" Linda informed him.

"Except for Mello's chocolate." Near smirked as he trailed in behind Linda and her new "daddy." He shuffled along, red blocky toy robot in hand, and never took his eagle-eye off Kira.

Mello shoved his way past Near cursing "_Stupid Sheep!_" Of course the staff had been told of L's decree and now all the chocolate was locked away in a state-of-the-art vault that was currently keyed to open for everyone BUT Mello. There was a note on the vault door warning that if anyone were to assist Mello in getting the chocolate inside that there would be grievous consequences… such as no video games for a month.

Matt glanced up at the note, sighed, and then returned his attention back to his DS. L knew them all too well—even though he was never here.

Light quickly surveyed the kitchen as he began preparing his lunch. He was surprised that there was such easy access to the knives all things considered. Of course he had no intention of using them on the kids for a number of reasons—first and foremost it would be _killing children _(the scum of the Earth who did such a thing were judged by him). Besides, he wanted to stay on L's good side, knives weren't really his style, and_ again_ he was a benevolent God—a protector of the innocent—he didn't go around _killing children!_ Only the scum of the earth that totally deserved it! But Light stayed on guard lest Mello or anyone else decide to reenact a scene from _Friday the 13__th _with him as a hapless camp counselor. A disturbed, but predictable, hush fell over the lunchroom of chattering children as Light selected one of the knives for himself. Light could feel all of the children with their L-like eyes watching him intently. The killer rolled his eyes and began cutting the roll of sushi he was preparing into neat little wheels. Light was aware that many had stopped what they were doing and were surrounding him—like the approaching zombie mob—if they thought he was going to take that knife and go on a murderous rampage they were sorely disappointed. Kira kept his cool and continued to peacefully make his lunch. Light looked over in surprise when he saw how Linda, after watching him intently for a moment, began retrieving the same ingredients, copying his exact movements, and making her own sushi lunch with great presentation and it was very artfully arranged.

Linda smiled upon seeing Light's questioning look. "That looks good. I've never had it before."

Matt put his DS in his vest pocket and joined them at the counter; apparently in the mood for sushi as well. Then the others followed suit with the pointed exception of Near who looked annoyed by this turn of events (or more specifically at the subject of Wammy's latest fad) and simply selected a plain vanilla yoghurt for himself, and Mello who just stood there in the kitchen, pounding on and screaming obscenities at the chocolate vault. He was seemingly content to let himself starve before deigning to eat a meal that lacked the all essential chocolate food group. As Light regarded all the children that were following his lead (_Followers? _The idea almost gave him a warm and fuzzy feeling) Light was reminded, once again, that they were not _just children_, they were genius children—mini-Ls. They never asked for instructions but simply figured it out on their own.

Light found a table in the cafeteria and Linda, smiling, sat down beside him and Matt joined them, to sit with Linda that's all. It wouldn't be nice to leave her all alone with a psychopath, now would it? Of course Matt (the Defender of Justice) would protect her with his vigilance!

Matt (the level 83 Paladin) would occasionally pause his game for short intervals to pick up a sushi roll and eat it ungracefully between his fingers, and every once and a while he would glance over at the kitchen in order to be embarrassed for Mello's sake as the blonde continued to rage against his most unjust punishment for attempted murder. It was the attempted murder of Kira, but still... Matt resumed killing zombies and didn't bother to divert his attention to Linda. She wasn't screaming so no doubt the Princess was not (yet) in peril.

Near also sat across from Light at his table, but it was less than friendly as he kept staring at him with those cold, unblinking eyes. Light simply ignored him as he had learned to do with Ryuuzaki and ate his lunch. But Light was startled out of his peaceful meal by the sharp crashing sound of Mello slamming a chair into the solid metal door that stood between him and his chocolate.

"What _is_ that kid's problem?" Light muttered and from across the table Matt snorted as he continued to mash buttons on his DS.

"Which one?"

"Good point…" Light said, recalling Mello's attempted "welcoming shank."

"Do you want the list?"

Light was surprised by how Matt looked almost eager to unload that list. Unasked Matt began listing off some of Mello's more charming qualities... "He gets chocolate stains all over everything, he's always breaking my stuff, he snores…"

"How about let's start with what's his problem with _me?_"

"You're Kira."

"I am not…" Light began his usual protest.

"…And you killed his father."

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Light returned to the kitchen and had spirited away three apples from the fruit bowl into the deep pockets of his sporty red jacket when Near was suddenly there, again doing a perfect imitation of L's wide-eyed stare and standing much too close.

"Shinigami really do love apples?"

"Excuse me?" Light feigned confusion.

"Oh come on, it's a matter of public record—one of the facts of the Kira case. Apparently 'Shinigami love apples.'" Near smiled and Light suppressed a shudder. That kind of smirk belonged on a rapist, not on a little kid. Light began to wonder why Near was an orphan. "Kira murdered three people just to send L that message so it _must_ be important."

"Hmmm… Fascinating."

"Is it true Shinigami wear black robes and carry scythes?"

"How the hell should I know?" Light answered irritably as Ryuk cackled in amusement.

"The apples…"

"…Are a snack for later."

"_Really?_" Near gave another smirk and a hair twirl as he pressed "I was under the impression you liked potato chips."

"What is this? A school for stalkers?" Light muttered under his breath.

"L let us review your case file when he sent you here."

Light sighed. "Believe it or not, some people don't eat the same thing at every meal. In fact most people like variety—and you get essential vitamins and nutrients that way."

Light ignored Near's continual annoying pestering (his saintly patience wearing thin) in favor of searching the cupboards.

_I thought for sure I saw… There it is!_

"What are you doing?" the albino asked and was ignored.

Light strode on over to where Mello sat panting, banging the back of his head against the metal door of the vault in desperation and despair. Light stood there for a moment and when Mello didn't register his presence he threw the item he discovered at the younger boy's chest. The blonde grunted, for a moment all the breath being pushed out of his body by the impact. He recovered to glare murderously at the one who had thrown it "What the fuck was that?"

"It's a bag of trail mix."

"Why the fuck did you throw it at me?"

"Consider it a peace offering, an olive branch, whatever. You look hungry. Accept it or not. I don't care. I just figured you'd find it interesting, considering your current… predicament."

_Is he saying…?_

Mello ripped open the bag to discover nuts, dried fruit ...and chocolate chips.

"You _asshole!_"

Light arched an eyebrow. "Is that your way of saying 'thank you?'"

"You know I'm not allowed to eat it!" Mello moped, staring at the chocolate chips mournfully.

_If he was going to follow the rules now then what was the point of trying to break into L's vault with a chair? Well, aside from the obvious anger issues... _

"Trying to tempt me with chocolate? How typical Kira! Back, vile serpent! Returneth to under the rock from whence you came!"

"He gets weird without his chocolate." Matt made his presence known with an exasperated sigh.

"I see your deductive skills need work…" Light chided, once again getting Mello's attention. "Or at least your taste buds. It's not chocolate. It's _carob_."

Light was met with a blank look.

"Come on, a genius and a chocoholic like you? Don't tell me you've never had carob?"

"What the fuck is _carob?_"

Light simply smiled and explained. "It looks like chocolate, it tastes like chocolate. But it isn't chocolate."

"So it's like… imitation chocolate?" Mello made a face. He never bothered with chocolate that wasn't of an expensive brand name.

"If it looks like chocolate and tastes like chocolate then its chocolate and Mello can't have it." Near interjected. "Just like when it looks like a manipulative, lying, sociopathic murderer and acts like a manipulative, lying, sociopathic murderer than it is a manipulative, lying, sociopathic murderer; and that's all there is to it."

"L never mentioned carob in Mello's punishment so it's _obviously_ alright for him to eat it, otherwise don't you think they'd put it under lock and key too?"

With some trepidation Mello tried the carob. It was slightly bitter and had a bit nuttier taste than he was used to but it would work as a substitute… for now. The blonde began madly mining his way through the nuts and fruit to get at the carob chips, setting them aside in his own little stock pile.

At this turn of events Near briefly interrupted his new hobby of stalking Kira to glare at Mello "You would follow the letter of the law without honoring the spirit of it? How very Kira-like."

"Shut up, Near…" Mello turned his attention back to Light to mouth off "Thanks, _dad_._"_ It was said with biting sarcasm… and some other emotion that was dangerously approaching gratitude.

00000

"Interesting… they seem to be getting on even better than I hoped…" a certain raven-haired detective said around a mouthful of gummy bears. Chewing was still a bit of a challenge with the pain in his jaw and the awkwardly wrapped bandages. L had received some minor cuts on top of a mild concussion as part of the beating he took to keep the kidnappers occupied while the others enacted their plan to escape.

Unfortunately it didn't work—the terrorists had discovered their plan. Their leader had been about to blow his head off when they had all collapsed from sudden heart attacks. As humiliating as it was to admit… _Kira_ had saved his life.

"L…" Watari began as his ward watched the multiple monitor screens where the children led a bewildered Kira through the hallowed halls of Wammy's House. L felt a similar sense of confusion as he chewed thoughtfully on his sugary treats. Clearly _something_ had changed between them. L wasn't sure when or how this happened exactly and that unsettled him. He was sure Kira wanted him dead before, but now… now Light would die for him? Because surely Light knew the consequences when he took these actions—he had outed himself and an exposed Kira was a dead Kira. He would surely get the death penalty… that is if he'd even lived long enough to see trial.

But was that not the very thing he was fighting against with Kira?

It wasn't L's place to force policies onto the countries of the world. His only duty was to uphold the law but…

L frowned. Though Light, _Kira_, went about it in the completely wrong way… he did have a point that the system was very flawed. Too many innocents were falsely accused and too many of the guilty exploited the system. And shouldn't the system focus on rehabilitation more than punishment? As it was the criminals that were incarcerated often came out even more dangerous than before!

_Light saved my life. He's still young. I'm sure of it. He__** isn't**__ beyond being rehabilitated. In the right environment he could easily be a force for justice much like myself... _

"…You're not serious about this?" Watari asked with some concern. In light of L's most recent decision Watari feared he had taken a worse blow to the head than they had previously thought.

L gave his mentor a blank look. "I'm very serious," he deadpanned as he scooped up some more gummy candies, stretching and squeezing them between his long, slender fingers. "Is there a problem, Watari? This is hardly the first time I've used one of my former enemies to my advantage. You never objected before."

Watari turned away, busying himself with serving L his cake. For a moment L thought that Watari would let it go… "I don't like the idea of having that murderer anywhere near the children."

L paused in his chewing to swallow down the sugary gel of the gummy candies down his throat. "He won't hurt the children."

L startled as Watari slammed the plate of cake down onto the table. "You can't know that!"

The detective gave a rare smile as he retrieved more candies. When he spoke again, it was almost like he was humming softly "He doesn't know their names."

"L.."

"Don't worry so much, Watari. Kira will be kept on a _very _short leash. And I have every confidence that my successors will keep him in line…"

Watari sighed in exasperation. "It also worries me that you already consider Kira a '_former enemy.'_"

L idly slurped up another gummy worm. "As far as I am concerned I have already defeated Kira even if he has yet to realize it."

"Just because he saved your life doesn't change the fact that he's killed thousands!"

Sometimes L wondered if the old man could read his mind. "Yes, I'm well aware of that."

"Then why—?"

"I am going to prove Kira's ideology is wrong, _once and for all_—by rehabilitating the most prolific killer in recent history."

"I'd still rather you didn't around the kids."

"Light is still practically a kid himself-he's the right age, Watari."

"…Barely."

"Wammy's House is the only place that has a shot at fixing him. There's still time to remold him in the program. Surely you know this—_you created it_."

The old man looked haunted. "You know as well as I do that the program doesn't always work."

The detective smiled again, more grimly this time. "Well at least he can't come out much worse than he already is." L said as he shoveled a forkful of the cake into his mouth, but no sooner had L swallowed down the treat when his head began to feel woozy and disconnected. L could see that Watari was saying something but his voice seemed distorted, as if he was speaking through a filter—he sounded strange, deep and demonic. L cringed at the sound, and abruptly lost his balance, collapsing sideways out of his chair and onto the floor. At the edge of his awareness, L thought he heard Watari shouting something but he couldn't understand what or why—it just sounded like a meaningless roar. A dark shadow fell across the detective as he struggled to get up and to remain conscious. L looked up, his glazed eyes could scarcely understand what he was seeing but still the detective managed to keep his eyes open, to focus on the face...

"_You!_" L hissed the word like a curse. Then the room swam around him and then there was only darkness.


	3. Testing

**A/N:** _I OWN NOTHING!_

_Out of curiosity is there a preference for Mello x Matt or Mello x Near or Mello x Matt x Near?_

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**Chapter 3 Testing**

Just as Mello was finishing up a lunch made entirely of carob chips the P.A. system crackled to life:

"_Mello and Matt would you escort our guest to my office please?" _Roger demanded over the speakers.

"_Fuck_, Roger!" Mello grumbled at being asked to do this chore.

"…_and Mello, you are not to use that kind of language here." _

"…is he watching us?" Light asked and Matt was secretly very amused by how paranoid Kira looked—his eyes darted around the room and oddly seemed to focus on one corner of the room for a bit too long to be natural. Matt frowned. He didn't see anything there… The red-headed teen shrugged and nonchalantly returned his attention to his DS.

"Maybe. Maybe not…" (No sense in giving Kira any definite clues about the security of his prison.) "But then that's not hard to guess, knowing Mello…"

"Why thank you, Mattie-dear." The blonde smirked at the "compliment."

"Anytime, S'mello yellow."

"It's this way, Kira," Mello grunted in irritation though inwardly he was very happy with this turn of events—_he _had been charged with escorting Kira to the office, meaning _he_ was in charge here. That meant he got back a little bit of the dignity he had lost from arguing with Kira. Mello was also secretly pleased that Roger had appointed _him_ (and Matt) but not Near for this all-important task...

"It's Light," Light corrected but he began to follow, intending to cooperate. After all, though the cage was gilded there was no denying he was still a prisoner here. It was in his best interests to be cooperative; at least for the time being…

Mello's eye twitched when he saw how Linda still clung to Light—it somehow subtracted from the "glory" or whatever Mello got out of parading the "defeated Kira" to the principal's office. But when Near stood up and began to follow them, dragging along that stupid, blocky, red toy robot of his, Mello lost his cool.

"Roger asked for me and Matt!"

"You mean, 'Matt and I?'" Near corrected.

"Whatever! The point is we don't _need _your help we've got it under control! So all of you—_get lost!_" Mello shouted.

The albino refused to move and just stood there, with his usual apathetic expression on his face. "Roger didn't say that we _couldn't_ accompany you and honestly Mello, I don't trust you to keep your cool. Roger obviously didn't think this through; Mello… you always let your emotions get the better of you," Near taunted in a muted, almost sing-song voice. "You'll screw up and then Kira here will make a break for it."

Light rolled his eyes. "Yeah real nice, Near. First off, _again_, my name is Light. Second, I'm not Kira. Third… _don't be stupid_, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm afraid I don't believe you. Sorry." The pallid boy said insincerely as he tugged at his hair.

Mello scoffed. "Of _course_ you're going to try to escape."

"No, I'm not because that would make zero sense. Just think about it rationally! For starters, I'm not even sure what country I'm in."

"You can't guess?"

Light shot Near a look of an annoyance "Of course I can _guess_. From the décor and your slight accents I'd assume that we are somewhere in England but in any case have you already forgotten about the lovely friendship bracelet L gave me? Even if I got it off do you think I'd just run, no plan, no Visa, no I.D.? In a foreign country where I'm being framed for murder? You must take me for an idiot!"

"Yes," Near answered honestly. The smug albino could tell that he made Kira angry though he was, disappointingly, much better at concealing his emotions than Mello—Kira's rage only showed in a slight twitch of the eye, blink and you miss it. A shame; Near would have loved to get a rise out of him—taunting Mello was getting predictable and boring. "Nothing personal," Near continued mockingly. "Most people from outside Wammy's are. Indeed, we even have our share of dumb blondes inside Wammy's House."

"That's it! _I'm going to kill you, you stupid sheep!" _Mello snarled; his duty to guard Kira forgotten in a fit of Near-induced berserk rage.

"_Children…_" Light derided both of them "Do we have to separate you two?"

"Roger tried that… Didn't work out so well." Matt idly commented from behind his DS. "_I_ believe you're serious about not wanting to escape, at least for now. You'd at least want to assess the situation first." Matt nodded as he mashed buttons. Onscreen his assassin character stabbed a guard in the back.

Light chuckled "Naturally. And in any case I'm sure Ryuuzaki would be rather upset if I left without telling him…"

"_What?_" Mello stopped trying to kill Near in order to gawk at Light as if he had grown a second head.

"What? I told you, Ryuuzaki, _L_ is my best friend." Light said most saccharinely. "I know he's been through a lot lately what with surviving a hostage crisis and all." Light himself had found L's hostage crisis to be quite an ordeal and he hadn't even physically been there. He only saw what happened on the security feeds. "Yes, I know the _brave and powerful L_ faces death all the time but that one was really bad. They… _hurt him…._They really would have—" _killed him. _Light paused as his entire body trembled with some unnamed emotion, most likely barely contained fury. _How DARE they?_ _They don't get to kill L. No one gets to kill L! No one but Kira should have that right! _

The children exchanged nervous glances as Light seemed lost in thought for a moment and they were privy to seeing Light having a rare display of genuine emotion. It was this rather than Light's eloquent (but obviously bullshitting) speeches that got the kids to start believing his story. It seemed that at least Light thought of L as a friend. Though Kira and L could probably be called "friends" much like Mello and Near could be called "friends"—everyone could see it. Underneath all the quarreling, bullying, back-stabbing, and death threats they really did care about each other.

"In any case, I'm sure L's just under a lot of stress right now and while I know I'm not Kira I should stay here to put his mind at ease until he's got it all sorted out."

Light was surprised when one of the children began tugging on his sleeve.

"What's he like?" asked the black-haired boy with the glasses timidly.

"Huh?"

"L. You've met him in person, haven't you? He's only ever spoken to us from behind a computer screen."

"_Hoodwink!_" Linda scolded the other student. They really weren't supposed to ask that sort of thing.

"Yes, I have," Light admitted and was met with a hushed, reverent silence.

_It's true then. They've never met Ryuuzaki in person. What possible reason could L have for...? If I was in L's position… _Light had the dawning realization. _I wouldn't want Sayu knowing that I'm Kira. I don't like to think about it but had she discovered my secrets or if she was used by my enemies and then I'd have to… _ _It's no doubt the same for L. He keeps his identity secret to protect them. _

"Why would L show himself to Kira and not us?" Mello demanded.

"Isn't it obvious? If L dies after showing himself to a Kira suspect then that suspect is Kira," Near explained in a haughty tone.

"Regardless whether I'm Kira or not L put his life in my hands. I won't betray that trust." Light declared resolutely with his most sincere expression, his eyes shining with righteousness.

Mello and Near (in rare agreement) exchanged a look that clearly read _"You've got to be kidding me."_

"It's not right that you should know about L and we don't! _So spill it!_" Mello snarled as he got all up in Light's personal space, trying to intimidate him again. Light suppressed a smirk. The thought that a fourteen-year old kid, even one as volatile as Mello, might intimidate the God of the New World was utterly laughable.

Light was reminded of a story he once heard from one of the police officers while on a ride-along. The officer (Light tried to recall his name, Ide or something) once told him of how a friend of his had trained a particularly vicious German Shepherd—it was a rescue animal that had been raised to be a fighting dog, but the officers managed to retrain it to be one of the best police dogs. But every so often the dog would challenge him for dominance—it would bark, and snarl, and try to bite and its owner would have to remind it of its place. This was done not through force for the dog would meet aggression with aggression and it was important not to back down or show fear—that was also an invitation to attack. No when the dog began to growl…

Light just smiled and gave Mello a friendly pat on the shoulder. The younger teen unwittingly took a step back, expressive blue eyes going wide as Mello was unnerved and disarmed by Light's strange response. The blonde was infuriated but had no idea how to respond seeing as Light was not playing to the script—he was supposed to either fight him or be cowering in fear!

"I'm afraid I can't tell you anything. It's up to L if he wants to tell you his secrets. However if L hasn't told you he probably has a very good reason not to. Besides, if I told you something L didn't want me to that would make L mad and we'd all get in trouble," Light patiently persuaded to his audience—the curious mob of children that looked like they wanted to eat him alive. Even if they didn't accept his authority on this matter they would no doubt respect L's. "Trust me on this. Angry L is not a pretty sight." _Cute maybe, but not pretty. Did I really just think that? L's cute when he's angry? Jeez, what the hell did they drug me with? It obviously still has lingering effects. _

Meanwhile Mello, embarrassed and infuriated, seemed to realize he had lost control of the situation and again shouted at the other children to leave him Matt alone to their sacred duty but again Linda refused to move, stubbornly hugging Light.

"For _fuck's sake!_ _He's our prisoner, not a teddy bear!_" Mello snarled at her, any guilt he had felt for pushing Linda into the coffee table was apparently forgotten.

Linda began to sniffle and then she began to cry.

"Mello…" Light warned in a stern tone, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he spoke.

"What, _Kira?_"

"Apologize."

"_Fuck you!_"

"Thank you for your generous offer but no, you're not my type." The older teen sighed with a cavalier flip of his bangs. Mello paled visibly as all around him his classmates snickered and then the blonde exploded into angry screaming that was nigh incomprehensible but sounded suspiciously like "_SICK-FUCKING-BASTARD-FAGOTTY-ASS-KIRA!__!_" (One word.)

Light just shook his head disparagingly in the face of Mello's little temper tantrum. "See, you shouldn't use that kind of language. It can be misinterpreted. Now, apologize to Linda."

Mello finally managed to regain control of his emotions and now stared at their prisoner with a dangerous calm. "_We're going now!_" the blonde shouted in his most commanding voice as he tugged at Light's sleeve, attempting to preserve what little dignity he had left as their prisoner continued to make a fool of him in front of his classmates, especially Near who was openly smirking at his _failings_—which of course pissed Mello off even more. Light didn't budge as Mello attempted to drag him down the hall, becoming a dead weight.

"No."

"Yes, or I'll fucking kill you!"

Light ignored the blonde's theatrics and just stood there, examining his finger nails. "I'd rather not. You see, I've come to like this room. It's nice and familiar. I don't know what's out there. You could be leading me to my death as far as I know."

"No, we won't do that!" Linda exclaimed.

Light just managed to keep the smirk off his face. It looked like his good deed would pay off. Linda would be very helpful in the future. "In any case I'm not going anywhere until you apologize to Linda."

"Oh, really? Well… _we'll just see about that!_" Mello shouted and redoubled his efforts at tugging at his arm. Light chuckled again—Mello looked like he was about to blow like some sort of blonde Krakatau.

Light refused to give any ground. "What do you weigh, Mello? Ninety pounds?"

"That doesn't matter! I'll make you, Kira!"

"Light," the brunette idly corrected. "And you probably could but, as you can see, I could make this very difficult for you…"

"_Matt_!" Mello snapped.

"What?" the redhead grunted from behind his game.

"Would it _kill you_ to lend a hand?"

"Maybe—it's Kira after all."

"_Matt!_"

Mello looked even angrier as Matt ignored him in favor of his DS. "Yeah, yeah, Mells, give me a minute… I'm about to level up."

Mello stormed up to Matt and swatted the DS out of his hand, smashing it on the ground.

Matt gave Mello a death glare that would no doubt have made Kira proud from beneath his goggles. "Good luck with Kira then."

"You guys!" Mello whined in irritation like the bratty teenager that he was when none of the others seemed inclined to get involved in his pissing contest with Kira either.

"What? You seem to have it _all under control, Mello._" Near smirked as he continued to play with his hair; throwing Mello's earlier self-assured words back in his face.

"_Oh fuck you, fuck all of you!_"

Near's grin widened. "Nice of you to offer."

Mello's jaw dropped open in disgust and horror and then he resumed glaring murderously between Near and Light as the other kids burst out laughing.

_I've created a monster._ Light thought as he regarded the childlike but not-in-the-least-bit innocent teen in horror. "Huh. Kids say the darndest things."

The blonde refocused his anger on Kira and began on another tirade that would make a sailor blush as all the other kids laughed at him and Kira looked at him with pity. It was too much.

"Mello, I just want you to apologize to Linda. Is that asking so much? If you'd just show that little bit of decency I'd go with you willingly."

"Alright!" Mello's eyes caught Linda's for a fraction of a second necessary to hiss out "_I'm sorry!_ _Okay?_"

Light smiled graciously and said "There, was that so hard?" as he finally let the enraged blonde drag him down the hall.

0000000

Mello, Matt, Light, and all the others quickly arrived at Roger's office where a crotchety old man, presumably Roger glared at them from behind a solid oak desk.

After they arrived the man gave a pointed, irritated sideways glance over to where the grandfather clock ticked audibly against the wall.

"Mello. Matt. Mr. Yagami…" he snapped. It was disorienting. Light was unaccustomed to being addressed as such and he just managed to stop himself from looking around for his father. "I'm so glad you've finally decided to grace us with your presence."

Roger was surprised and more than a little disturbed when Mello didn't mouth back for once. The blonde seemed subdued and overly-fascinated with his sneakers.

"That was my fault. Sorry about that," said the newcomer, Light Yagami, _Kira_. Roger gave a long-suffering sigh. It looked like L was right—he would fit right in here. Roger regarded the teenaged mass-murderer that had somehow silenced Wammy's own legendary hellion warily as he slowly got out of his chair. "L has requested that I give you this test…"

Roger led him to another room down the hall. It wasn't like any classroom or testing center he'd ever been in before. The environment was very Spartan and it was reminiscent of a prison cell—no windows, no posters, nothing but the door and the plain blue walls of the claustrophobically small room and it was eerily silent inside, lacking even the hum of florescent lighting as the room was only dimly lit by a single light bulb. Light was beginning to get concerned that his earlier "joke" to Mello and Linda that being called to the office was the codeword meaning he should be tortured and killed might've been not too far off the mark after all. Inside there was just a single desk and chair, a paper and pencils.

"There is no time limit. When you're finished just put the test face down on the desk and I'll come by to pick it up. I will be watching on the monitors. After you are finished testing you will no doubt be tired so I'll have the kids show you to the dormitories where you can pick out a room.

"What kind of test is this?" Light asked suspiciously. He was used to L testing his abilities, trying to trap him, but somehow this seemed different.

"It's an intelligence test meant to test the limits of a genius's capabilities."

_If I do well won't that make me look like Kira? __But if I deliberately do poorly then wouldn't that also make me look like Kira?_

"L must expect great things from you to even consider this," said Roger.

Light seemed genuinely caught off guard by that statement—he just stood there with a stunned look on his face for almost a full minute before Roger motioned he should take a seat.

Matt observed this with detached amusement. If he didn't know better he'd say Kira was rather _smitten _with their mentor.

"No pressure or anything," said Matt.

"And you all need to leave him alone now." Roger scolded the other children.

"No way, we're supposed to watch him!" Mello protested loudly as Roger began herding the other kids out of the tiny room. Light just rolled his eyes. As if he'd try to escape _now_. Matt was right, he needed to figure out his game plan first.

"Do not try to help or hinder his results. I'm well aware of your every trick," Roger told L's successors sternly and then the door shut with an air of finality, leaving Light alone in the silence but for the occasional demonic cackling of a presence only he could see and hear.

_Ryuuzaki expects me to do well. Alright… _His will resolute; Light picked up the pencil.


	4. Haunted

**A/N: **_I own NOTHING!_

0000000

**Chapter 4 Haunted **

L awoke in a cold sweat. His body was unused to sleeping for this long and this, paradoxically, made the insomniac feel even more tired. As he came to his senses he let his training take over as he worked, furiously, to banish the horrific nightmare images that had taken hold in his mind. No. It couldn't be _him_. It was absolutely impossible! He was _dead._ L _saw_ his body! It wasn't him. It wasn't! Couldn't be. It wasn't. What he had seen—it was a monster and while _he_ was _a monster_ what he had seen just before he blacked out was a monster in the rather literal sense of the word—that _man-thing_ wearing a twisted mockery of_ his own face_, with fangs and claws and glowing red eyes—it was a bugbear, a boogeyman—everything that broken _thing_ had set out to be. Since such monsters do not really exist then it had to have been a hallucination, just an exaggerated nightmare image, nothing more. It was already quite obvious that his kidnappers had drugged his cake. So that was all it was—just a really bad trip. Get a grip World's Greatest Detective—you're much better than this.

As L sorted through his feverish memories perhaps even MORE disturbing than his obvious hallucination was the _other_ he thought he saw before he blacked out. He hadn't seen the other man's face because his kidnapper (yes, kidnapper. For it was this man and not the monster that didn't, _couldn't_, exist that grabbed him) was wearing a mask but there was enough from seeing the other man's body shape, his eyes, and his hands for the great detective to make an identification—but that was equally impossible! That would mean he had been _betrayed_… Actually, that was _very_ likely but L didn't want to believe it. Not from such a valuable tool and not after so long…

And Watari! What had happened to Watari? Was he okay? Was he _dead?_ Most likely—after all, if his abductors were just after L what purpose would they have with the man who presented himself to the world as a kindly old butler? L felt a twinge of guilt that the wellbeing of his guardian wasn't the _first thing_ to pop into his mind though all these thoughts had raced through the genius's mind within the space of a few seconds.

The legendary detective focused on breathing deeply, taking care that there was no detectable change in his breathing patterns as he pretended to still be unconscious as he listened for some clue as to his whereabouts but all was silent. So far his only clue was the rock hard mattress that he was laying on which he found vaguely reminiscent of a prison cot. After what L gauged to be about an hour of pretending to be asleep and simply listening to the stillness and the sound of his own breathing L was reasonably sure he was alone at least—and dared to open his eyes. However he soon found that it didn't make any discernible difference—wherever it was he was being held, it was just as dark as the inside of his eyelids.

The world's greatest detective had been left alone in the dark.

0000000

**"I've never seen you have so much trouble with a test before."** Ryuk remarked with mirth as the exhausted teen ran a hand over his head in anguish, further mussing his hair. Seeing how Light already looked like he was on the brink of one his infamous, _frightening_ psychotic temper tantrums the Shinigami refrained from commenting on how it almost made him look like "Ryuuzaki." Light worked to calm himself because no doubt L got a kick out of seeing him so frustrated.

Roger wasn't kidding. This was the hardest test Light had ever taken in his life. Admittedly he was a bit spoiled—usually he could just waltz on into any classroom, take a cursory look at the test and just breeze through it and get perfect marks. But _this_ test? This test was actually challenging—and at times even _infuriating_. It's not like they let him study for it ahead of time either! He was sure he got at least a couple answers wrong because he just didn't _know_ the subject matter and had to guess. That had _never_ happened to him before. He _always_ got a perfect score. _Always._ This was unacceptable.

Since Roger said there was no time limit Light had gone over the questions he had had trouble with again and again… He had ultimately had to concede this round, his pride could not take the scorn in the old man's voice when he knocked on the door and asked if he was quite finished.

Light smiled pleasantly and handed in his test but inside he was seething.

"_No time limit" my ass! _

It took all his willpower not to sag across the desk in an undignified fashion. Light wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there wracking his brains for the answers but he was surprised to discover the world outside the windows had grown quite dark. Light sighed, though he had been forced to hand it in he still felt that the test wasn't up to his usual standards because "good enough" wasn't good enough.

"I'll just go grade this then. They're waiting for you in the Commons."

Light exited the hallway to the sight of Linda, Mello, Matt, and Near lounging around in the great study room and dining area. Everyone else had apparently already gone off to bed.

"Took you long enough!" declared the boisterous blonde from where he lounged on a leather couch, putting down the book on theoretical physics he had been reading so he could properly heckle Light. "Did you arrive here in the short bus or something?"

Light sighed with barely contained annoyance and exhaustion, "Isn't it past your bed time?" Light grumbled as he idly massaged his forehead and the bridge of his nose.

"My point exactly!"

"Roger said there was no time limit."

"It only took me a half hour to complete that test!" Mello boasted.

"Perhaps that's why you've _always_ been number two." Said another voice heard from, emanating from the floor, around the general vicinity of where the toy robots were locked in pitched battle.

"Shut up, Near."

Matt rolled his eyes. He sat next to Mello on the couch, once again playing his games, having managed to repair his DS with his pocket toolkit which he always kept on hand in preparation of disasters caused by Hurricane Mello. The tinny notes of the Zelda theme filled the otherwise silent study.

Linda sat cross-legged on the floor, a sketchbook in hand intent on drawing something.

"It's not finished!" She scolded him and quickly hid the picture when he tried to peer over her shoulder to see what she was drawing.

"You must be tired. Roger said to show you—the boy's dorms are this way, daddy! Let's go!"

"Wha—wait a minute!" Light protested weakly as Linda enthusiastically grabbed his by the wrist and dragged him down the hall.

Mello, Matt, and Near exchanged looks and snickered as the little girl with pigtails skipped along, leading the mighty Kira around.

"All the rooms are already taken. You're gonna have to room with someone," Matt commented off-handedly.

Light frowned. He rather valued his privacy or at least his personal space. Privacy was no doubt out of the question seeing as he was L's prisoner and the detective no doubt had set up surveillance cameras everywhere as usual…

"Wait, but what about _that room?" _Light asked as they passed an eerily empty dormitory.

The others visibly shuddered when they saw which room Light meant.

"You don't want _that_ room!" Linda squeaked out.

"Why the hell is the door even open?" Mello cursed under his breath. He was sure that all the other kids would be too scared to even go near it.

"That's A and B's old room! A _died _in there! He hung himself! And B went insane! They said he killed at least three people before L caught him!" Linda said in scarcely a whisper.

"Yeah, and it's supposedly haunted" Mello smirked as he explained, authoritatively. "There's a rumor floating around that the last kid that tried to claim that room was found dead—his eyes plucked out!"

"Really? Does that sort of thing happen often at L's school?" Light asked faux innocently.

"It's just a rumor. It never happened," Near assured him.

"_It did too!_" Mello insisted.

"Are you saying some petty, attention whore of a ghost really killed a student?" Light asked and looked askance locking eyes with Ryuk and unseen and unheard by the others Ryuk comically threw up his claws and vehemently protested his innocence. (**"What are you looking at _me_ for? Wasn't me!"**)

"No, no, no the rest of it!" said Mello. "I know! L himself wanted me to study up on the L.A.B.B. murder cases!"

_The L.A.B.B. murder cases! Beyond Birthday..._

Light wrote many names in the Death Note but _that_ _one_ was easy to remember—both for the peculiar name and the grisly murders perpetrated by the one who owned it—the very reason Light had written that name in the notebook.

If Light was ever honest with himself (which he wasn't) his close-call with Naomi Misora had sent him into a bit of a panic and he had put even more effort into covering his tracks than he had before. Coming up with more plans and counter plans. He had set up his judgments two weeks in advance, purged his computer of anything that could implicate him as Kira, and had sewn spare sheets of notebook paper into his wallet and clothes. He had also thoroughly researched Raye Penber and Naomi Misora afterwards to assess if there would be any more avenging relatives popping up anytime soon. That's how Light had discovered the Beyond Birthday case—the case was locked and took quite a lot of time and hacking to uncover. Now Light could understand the security precautions—if Beyond had once been a student here then that meant L had been protecting him. Either that or the eccentric detective was secretly a hybristophiliac. Honestly, Light wouldn't be surprised if L was… that or well, _anything_ really. It would explain why he was so dead set against Kira's righteous justice…

"B was one sick fuck," Mello informed them. "He was like totally obsessed with L! No, he wanted to _be_ L, and he wanted to prove once and for all that he was better than L so he set out to create a murder case that L couldn't solve."

Light could agree with Mello's most eloquent assessment but he didn't dare let them know he knew. Just as Light knew it wasn't _L_ that ultimately caught Beyond but Naomi Misora. (It was a real shame she had to go and oppose him like that—she left him no choice. It was a such senseless waste of human life…) In his duty as Kira, Light had delved deep into the case files, searching for the worst humanity had to offer—mass murder, rape, torture, mutilation. Light had seen it all and had judged them all but the BB killings still made him sick. Especially the death of Quarter Queen—a little girl no older than his sister that was brutally beaten to death left face down on the floor just so that Beyond could play his twisted mind games!

"Really?" Matt paused in his button mashing to glare resentfully at Mello. "You never told _me_ about that!"

That was when Mello recalled, belatedly, that L told him he wasn't supposed to mention it to the other students but he had somehow forgotten in his glee. Mello realized, to his horror that he had just been trying to impress Light or rather to show him— to show him up and to show Light he didn't know everything, and that Mello knew something he didn't. _Why_ he was trying to impress Light was something Mello didn't fully understand nor why he was finding that he respected the older teen almost as much as he hated him—it probably had something to do with Kira being a master manipulator and he was playing the hot-headed teen like a piano. The blonde gnashed his teeth at the thought that he let his emotions got the better of him _again_ and hoped against hope that L never found out about his slip.

"Now _why_ would L only tell you?" Near pondered aloud in that sing-song tone again that made it difficult to tell if the albino was being sarcastic or not.

"Well, I figured L thought I was the only one of you losers mature enough to handle it!"

Near smirked. "I really doubt that was it. It's more likely that L's request that you learn about that case in particular had a second hidden meaning that you missed."

"Oh really?" the blonde asked while taking an overly aggressive stance, his hands on his hips, though alas, most of the menace Mello attempted to portray was lost when he took to flipping his long blonde hair "Like what?"

"Now _why _should I do your homework _for you_, Mello?" Near muttered as he gave the strand of hair he was playing with another compulsive twirl. No doubt any lesson L had hoped to teach about the dangers of obsession and rivalry would have gone right over the blonde's head...

Meanwhile Light yawned pointedly and pressed his way into the empty room.

"Hey, Light! Weren't you listening! That's _B's room!_" Mello exclaimed.

"You just told me that this was the only room available," Light remarked coolly.

_The kids are scared of it, so that means they are less likely to bother me or mess with my stuff. Also from the stunned silence I'd say that this move has definitely won their respect and of course __**that**__ would be useful later on... _

Light flopped down onto the dusty, white linen-covered bed unconcerned—the picture of serene calm. He had already had Ryuk discreetly check the room for cameras and traps. There were cameras of course, just like there were cameras all over the place but other than that he found nothing more alarming than B's grotesque collection of animal bones underneath the floor boards.

"No, you shouldn't have to sleep there! You... you could room with me!" Linda began but was cut off by Matt.

"Sorry, but no—Roger would never permit co-ed."

"Don't worry about it. Besides, it's not 'B's room' anymore. It's _my room._"

"You're not afraid a vengeful ghost is going to kill you in your sleep?" Near asked, staring at him with his unblinking black eyes.

"No," said Light.

"…Not even a little bit?" Mello couldn't keep the note of awe from entering his voice at the older teen's blasé attitude towards the whole thing.

"Then I'll make his head explode for you."

"Seriously?"

Light sighed and glanced at Ryuk out of the corner of his eye "If it happens it happens and there's nothing I can do about it. But there's no use living in fear."

Near flashed him what could only be interpreted as a pervy smile. "You know if you get scared you could always sleep with me, Kira."

Light closed his eyes, temporarily shutting out the annoyance from existence. "I think I'll take my chances with the ghosts, thanks."

"...And you would know all about ghosts, wouldn't you?"

Light's eyes shot open and he was irritated to find that Near hadn't taken the hint to leave him alone and now seemed to be in the process of scattering cheap plastic toys all over the floor. Light was beginning to understand why Mello took issue with the quiet white-haired boy.

"No, I think that's you—you're the one that's haunting _my room_ in those white sheets you call clothes," Light spat childishly, his usual politeness fraying with exhaustion and irritation.

"Ooh, _burn!_"

"Come to think of it, Near_ does _look like a ghost…"

"Hey Near, are you even alive?"

It was odd and very subtle—the look that played across the smallest boy's face. Light only noticed from his interactions with Ryuuzaki. They had hurt his feelings—feelings he didn't know he had.

Near dropped his toy robot and ran off as fast as his short legs would carry him.

"What was _that_ about?" Light asked though it was rather obvious that they had somehow struck a nerve.

"Really, what just happened?" Matt looked equally unnerved by this turn of events. Near usually dished it out as well as he got it and took such remarks in stride. It was really hard to believe that Near actually _had_ feelings.

Mello looked between his classmates and Light before putting on his tough guy act again. "Alright, let's get one thing clear, Kira. No one gets to make fun of Near but me! _Got it?_"

"What are you talking about? You're the one who upset him—I…"

"What_ever!_" sulked the blonde. "Good night, _Kira._"

"It's Light!"

"Fine. 'Night, Light!"

"Heh. Nightlight…" Matt chuckled.

Light just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, good night…"

"Good night, daddy. Be careful."

Light smiled. It was a real smile. "Good night, Linda. Thank you. I will."

0000000

Light lay on his back, atop the stiff, dusty bed. Though he was exhausted, he was unable to sleep as his mind kept tracking over the bizarre events of the day.

_Did L make that test? Or did L ever have to take that test himself?_ If so Light hoped he beat his score. He hoped he ground it into dust! And then he would laugh. That would show him! Light just wished he could see the look on his face... But what if the unthinkable happened? What if he did poorly? Light was sure it was less than perfect…

_It was wrong! I screwed up! I know… If only I had more time! _

Would L… find him a disappointment? (Would L not want to talk to him anymore?)

No. that was impossible! He had to. He'd make him… That was absolutely ridiculous! Why was he worrying about something like that? He was L's main Kira suspect after all! That _pest_ would never stop hounding him until he caught Kira and of course Light was _never_ going to quit…

_But… really, what was the true purpose of that test? For that matter, what purpose could L have had for detaining me at a school? Is L trying to brainwash me or something? Well, he shouldn't have bothered. I am __**resolute**__ in his mission to make a better world. I'll begin making preparations tomorrow. I just need to come up with a good plan. I have two weeks and I have in fact planned for this very scenario!_ (Okay, maybe not _this_ very scenario; but close enough!)

In case he was ever out of action he had set the judgments up two weeks in advance and though L would no doubt notice the lull in the killings the rest of the world wouldn't notice Kira's absence until that time.

_Damn L! What the hell was he thinking, leaving me here! _

In truth, Light had gotten very used to their near daily dealings and he well and truly wished that L was here… so he could punch him in the face.

_Yeah, L's probably having a good laugh at my expense right now, leaving me to babysit his kids! _

L would no doubt contact him to taunt him about it tomorrow—frankly Light was surprised he hadn't already.

"_L—" _Light snarled aloud and was startled and slightly embarrassed by how breathy his voice sounded and L was probably watching him right now on the cameras.

Light could see the peculiar man clearly in his mind's eye. He would be sitting, crouched in one of those comfy hotel chairs while meticulously licking the chocolate frosting off his doughnuts. Whenever Ryuuzaki did that—no matter what the detective had said or did beforehand, for some reason Light would have trouble staying mad at him. There was just something about the odd man's mannerisms that made him look all… _cute and innocent_ and not like the enemy of Justice Light knew him to be. Yes, L was very manipulative. He had all these kids hero-worshipping him; fooled them into thinking he was a good person. Light was, admittedly, impressed.

_That's right. They're HIS kids. Not mine. Damned detective should take a little personal responsibility! _Light fidgeted uncomfortably in something almost akin to guilt when he remembered how Near had been driven from his room but… _What am I thinking? Surely one of his friends will look after him._

_L should be looking after him. _

_Damn L! _

It was all just so… _infuriating_. The teen glared right where he knew one of the cameras was and was very tempted to flip him off but that would be stupid and incriminating so he instead just passed it off as general moodiness, rolling over on his stomach to hide the growing problem that had been developing in his pants while he was thinking of L. How embarrassing. But there was no way those two things could possibly be connected.

00000000

Hours after he had regained consciousness L had taken to pacing the length of his cell. He was well aware it wasn't the smartest move but he was well past caring—L was very hungry. The sweet-tooth, unsurprisingly had a high metabolism. He just couldn't _survive _very long without the sweets Watari provided. He figured it was time to take his chances, to make it clear to whoever had taken him that L was awake and that he demanded sweets! After all, if they wanted him dead it was likely they would have done it already. It was most likely that either the man who grabbed him wanted to ransom him off to one of his many enemies or the man WAS one of his many enemies and this whole matter was entirely personal and they wanted him to suffer first.

Well, mission accomplished. He hadn't had a _proper_ cake in seven hours, forty-two minutes, and thirty three seconds. L was very cross about it.

Nor could he say he much cared for being left alone the darkness, or being drugged, or the dream images that still occasionally haunted his waking moments, or his hunger.

He didn't like _not knowing_ what happened to Watari.

No, he did not like it at all and when L discovered the person (or persons) responsible for this he fully intended to put his foot in his face (even if it _was_ _him!_) L's pacing was occasionally broken up with bouts of shouting and pounding on a strip of the metal wall that the great detective had deduced was actually the door. It was very well-hidden and blended seamlessly in with the rest of the wall. It had taken L an hour to find it. It was during another of these pounding and screaming sessions when L nearly fell forward, flat on his face, when the door suddenly swung open.


	5. Ryuk

**A/N:** _I own nothing!_

_Sorry, Ryuk demanded a chapter to tell jokes at Light's expense __and do some foreshadowing. _W_hen a God of Death wants something you better listen. __Oh, and he also wants apples and reviews. _

00000

**Chapter 5 Ryuk **

Light snuck out in the small hours of the morning when even the insomniac students at Wammy's House were either asleep, or otherwise occupied looking at Internet porn, or maybe even studying. The important thing was that Ryuk's ninja path through the school worked. The wily killer ascended the bell tower of the ancient church that stood on campus grounds. Ryuk had flown all around the campus and had managed to find this, a blind spot away from the cameras where they could chat and Light could feed him apples. Any locked doors that stood in the way of this were just "magically" open long before Light made his way across the campus grounds.

Light praised Ryuk when he saw it—it really was a perfect sanctuary against L's prying eyes.

When he was questioned later (and Light was sure that he would be but this couldn't be helped; Ryuk needed his apples if Light wanted to keep what remained of his sanity) he would just tell them he was out for an early morning jog. It sounded like a believable enough excuse and it's not like he could leave the campus grounds. Once he was sure they weren't being watched Light finally deigned to toss an apple at the whining monster. The Shinigami crouched, gargoyle-like, on the railing, as he watched Light begin work on his new plans.

Ryuk looked thoughtful as he munched on his apple.

"**You know, these apples are different from usual. I think it's a sweeter variety." **

"Hmm… figures. It's L's kitchen." Light grunted but didn't look up. His attention absorbed by whatever he was scribbling in the sketchbook in front of him. It wasn't the Death Note. It was just a normal notebook he had "borrowed" from the school. Ryuk noticed that Light did that sometimes when he worked his way through complicated planning or (though he would never admit it) trying to work out what had gone wrong.

"**It's really juicy. Wanna bite?" **Ryuk offered Light the apple he had just been gnawing on.

"Er… No thanks." Light politely declined.

"**Why not? It's really good!"** The Shinigami tempted.

Light's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why are you offering? That's… not like you."

Of course there was a perfectly rational explanation for the Shinigami's bizarre behavior. While waiting for Light to wake up earlier when he was drugged unconscious the monster had taken to watching the kiddies watch TV and so the Shinigami had learned a valuable lesson—Sharing is Caring. But more importantly, Ryuk had learned that sharing caused magical purple dinosaurs to appear and do a dance number. The Shinigami wanted to see that.

"**I thought if you tasted it then maybe you'd know what kind it is and you can get me more later—that is **_**if**_** you escape from this place. Hyuk!"**

"You mean _when_ I escape this place," the teen corrected with a self-assured smile. "You doubt me? O ye of little faith." The teen again turned his attention to his sketchbook.

"**C'mon, just a little bite?"**

Light ducked when Ryuk practically shoved the apple he had slobbered on at his face. The exhausted teen began giggling softly (insanely) and gave him a very strained smile. Ryuk wondered if this was what humans called being at one's wits end or if Light was long past that.

"Really, it's nothing personal, Ryuk. It's just it's been in your mouth. You've been chewing on it. It's unsanitary.

Ryuk chuckled. **"I'm a God of Death, remember? Living things are kind of adverse to me and that includes germs. Really, I'm cleaner than you are. Go on, try it. **_**Pleeeeease?**_**" **

"_Fine!_" Light finally snapped as the Shinigami kept pestering him. At this rate he would never going to get his work done! Light reluctantly took the apple and tried to find a corner that wasn't dripping wet. This was probably one of the nastiest things he'd ever done in his sheltered life. As Light reluctantly took a bite Ryuk was disappointed when no singing purple dinosaurs appeared. TV lied to him! Ryuk wondered what would happen if he wrote "TV" in the Death Note. Ryuk was quite put out at the thought that he just shared an apple for nothing but he quickly recovered as he thought of something else that would be funny…

"**Oh yeah. You're a **_**dirty boy**_**, Light-o." **

The Shinigami snickered as Light started coughing and nearly choked on the bite of apple. Oh yeah. The look on his face was priceless.

"Ryuk, what the _hell!"_

The monster gave him a perfectly innocent look, leaving the normally fearless teen looking nervous as Ryuk simply moved on. **"So… do you know what kind of apple it is?" **

Light shot the monster his best 'please die' stare before moving on as well. "It's probably an ambrosia apple. I think our _good friends_ over at _Korekanashiya_ sell mostly fujis... And the ones you keep stealing from the neighbor's garden are red delicious." Light had found he had to study up on apples to be on par with the proper care and feeding of one's Shinigami.

"**All human world apples are really sweet and juicy. It's kind of overwhelming. Maybe sometime I can get you an apple from the Shinigami world!" **

"Wait, the Shinigami world has apples?"

"**Yep!" **

"Can they be seen?"

"**Yeah… but…"**

"Best not, then. It could be used as evidence against me."

"**You're no fun,"** Ryuk pouted.**"Besides there wouldn't be any evidence! All you have to do is eat all of it, the core as well." **

"I'm afraid that's not possible, Ryuk. Apple cores are poisonous to humans."

"**Huh?" **

"There are trace amounts of cyanide in the seeds. At least that's how it is in the human world."

"**I didn't know that. You know, you could have told me that before you made me eat the cores!" **

Light sighed and put down his pencil. "I said _to humans_. You told me Shinigami can't die. I believed you. So if I poisoned you then it's your own damn fault." Light huffed as he resumed scratching down ideas that would no doubt have far-reaching consequences onto the college-ruled sheet of paper.

Ryuk curiously peered over his shoulder. **"What are you working on anyway?"**

"Well, it's possible to deactivate the leg cuff but it needs to be precise and the release is inside the casing. It can only be deactivated by a key… or by someone who could phase through solid objects… You know Ryuk, if I got the leg cuff off we could go shopping for apples _right now…"_

Ryuk snickered **"Nice try, kid. But this is too much fun." **

Light sighed again. "I figured you'd say that." _It was worth a shot._

"**Of course you did." **

As Light went back over his notes, he took to making a slightly feral noise and pulling at his hair.

"**You know, you seem very **_**frustrated**_** without L around." **

Light regarded the creature out of the corner of his eye and heaved a heavy sigh "What the hell are you going on about now?"

The Shinigami scratched his head as he thought aloud **"Say, Light. Do you** **think maybe if you got L a ring he'd come back and stay with you?" **

Light was thoroughly perplexed by the Shinigami's line of questioning. "Why would I want L to stay? Being _around L_ is very irritating! This is like… a vacation. I can just sit back, relax…" _and get pestered by L's whining children and Shinigami. Yes just like a vacation. _"Besides, L will be back!"

Ryuk chuckled. **"You're so sure of that."**

"Of course. He's L. He always comes back. I have to be prepared."

"**But what if he doesn't?" **

Ryuk observed as the human went stock still. "That's impossible. I haven't beaten him yet…" Then the other part of Ryuk's statement registered and he again looked up from his notes. "Wait, a minute, what did you mean by a ring?"

"**Are you worried about choosing the right one? I can help you pick one out. Rings are cool! Did you see mine?" **Ryuk chattered excitedly as he showed off the collection that adorned his claws. **"Say, if you can't go shopping for one because of the cuff and all I could give you one of mine!" **

_One of his? _Was that some kind of Shinigami artifact that could help with his creation of a new world? How… _precious_. Still, Light was skeptical of Ryuk's generosity. "Seriously, what has gotten into you?"

"**It would be entertaining and it's for a good cause, I think! Do you think L would like one with skulls on it?"**

"Obviously we're not on the same page here. If you gave me a ring, why would I give it to L?"

The Shinigami looked at the human in exasperation. **"Well obviously, it's what comes next!"**

"I… don't follow." Light (painfully) admitted.

"**You don't know. Seriously?"**

"_WHAT?"_

"**Forget it."** The Shinigami sulked.

"What comes next? _Ryuk!_" Ryuk now had Light's full attention.

"**It's so obvious; you really should be able to figure this out yourself. You really don't…"** Ryuk sniggered and now Light was pestering him for answers. Ryuk was strongly considering not telling him out of spite but then it would be funny to see what Light would do about it. **"It's just… you know I observe a lot of human behavior. When humans stare at each other, bicker, fight, and **_**miss**_** each other like you and L do… They usually end up exchanging rings and things in some human ritual and moving in together… Well I guess L already took you home and all so all that's left is for you to give him a ring. So… when are you gonna get him a ring?" **

Light finally realized to what Ryuk was referring. He burst out laughing.

"Aw Ryuk, you've got it all wrong! Me… L… we aren't like that. That's… impossible."

"**I'm not wrong."** Ryuk growled, those three words were said with absolute certainty. That certainty, it threw Light even more than how his "pet's" eyes had taken on a definite red cast as he wore that ever-present twisted, diabolic smile. Most people would be pissing themselves by such a frightening sight but then Light wasn't most people. A God wasn't afraid of such things.

Light folded his arms across his chest as he stood, defiantly before the Death God. "Oh, really?"

"**Light, you know I have nothing better to do than observe the two of you and watch your sister's soap operas…" **

"You see, Ryuk; that hardly makes you an expert on human behavior..."

"**And now that he's gone you're**_** moping**_**." **

Light glowered at the Shinigami. "I'm not moping! And what the hell is your problem? Are you trying to live vicariously through me? Why are you suddenly so obsessed with this idea of me and L…?" Light paled. Was Ryuk going to try and force him to hook up with L or something?

Ryuk cackled as if he read his mind. **"Watching you hook up with L would be amusing but then watching you kill L would be amusing too. So would watching you play fugitive. Do whatever you want. I don't care, really, as long as I have my apples. You know me, I'm just an observer and this is just an observation—but seriously, all that's missing from this scene would be you prancing around in a schoolgirl uniform **_**pining**_** for your lost love." **

Light's glare was absolutely murderous. _How ridiculous! This is L we're talking about. The man is beyond irritating! I __**hate**__ L! I hate him with every fiber of my being! I hate him with all my heart and soul! I've hated him from the first moment he spoke to me and I will hate him for the rest of my life! And I need him here, right now, to show him how much I… _

_No, this isn't happening! _Light's eyes went wide, as he became absolutely stricken by this sudden epiphany.

Ryuk's demonic smile widened, baring fangs as he went in for the kill. **"Did you know you call his name in your sleep?"**

"_SHUT UP!"_

Ryuk had seen Light get angry before but he had never seen him get _this_ angry. It was terrifying and beautiful to behold. The Death God trembled in delight. Light's madness was just so much fun. Heads would roll, worlds would burn…

"There is _no way!_ He's a _guy!"_

"**So? C'mon, Light. We both know you're not particularly fond of the girls."**

"He's my_ enemy!"_

"**Ah! but you had the chance to let him die. You refused to take it,"** the Shinigami pointed out reasonably. **"Even if Shinigami killing people and humans killing people are so different as you claim—it just seems to me that you couldn't let him go."**

"_No!_ NO! That's… _impossible!_"

"**And then L had the chance to kill you… and **_**he**_** didn't take it. Did you know he visited you in person while you were out of it? Oh yeah. He waited at your bedside like in that one show where the guy's girlfriend was in a coma." **

"W-what happened?" Light managed to croak out.

"**Eh? He didn't do much. You know… Just watched you sleep. And touched your face a bit. Oh, he didn't kiss you or anything but he kinda looked like he wanted to. He, you know, brushed your bangs out of your eyes… staring at you a really long time…" **

"This isn't happening!" Light repeated.

_I—I need L. To talk to him! To clear this up because this is impossible! I can't be… It just can't… _

Ryuk watched on as Light seemed to have gone into a state of shock, his bangs fell over his eyes, his expression unreadable, and he would occasionally hear a whispered "impossible" or "not happening!" or a long drawn out "Nooooo!" Ryuk was amused as Light shivered and hugged his knees to his chest in a very L-like position.

_**Whoops. **_The Shinigami hadn't realized how soul-shattering that revelation would be for Kira. Now Ryuk feared that he broke his favorite toy. **"Er… Light?"**

Ryuk prodded as Light rocked back and forth in his emo corner of woe.

"**You're not gonna start playing with razor blades like that albino kid, are you?"**

Light finally snapped out of it. _"WHAT?" _

"**Oh yeah, I guess you wouldn't know. The one you call Near? I saw him down in the basement when I was searching for cameras. He's, you know, playing with a knife."**

Light leapt to his feet and bolted down the stairs of the bell tower. Ryuk glided gracefully along behind him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Light snapped as he ran.

"**You didn't ask. I didn't think it was important anyway." **

"Just… show me where he is. _Now!_" Light commanded.

"**No problem!"** The Shinigami cackled and gave a mock salute.

_**So much fun. **_


	6. Who Ya Gonna Call?

**A/N: **_I do not own Death Note. Well I was writing the next chapter, trying to comb through the mess of ideas and dialogue, and then this short chapter wrote itself in the meantime, just a bridge to the next chapter. _

000000

**Chapter 6 Who Ya Gonna Call?**

The eerie-looking man practically glowed in the darkened room where he waited for them-his long black hair falling into his face like a vengeful _onryo. _He was _ready_ for them—as soon as the door to his prison swung open he made his first move—he executed a _Gancho Giratoria_, a hooking roundhouse kick. The guards were on the floor before they knew what hit them. As more rushed in, the detective dropped to the ground, planting his hands on the floor in order to push off for another kick, aimed at another guard's head—_E__scorpião_, the scorpion kick. L landed a few feet away, just in time to sweep the leg out from another. The detective then coolly walked away from the downed goon squad—that were now all either unconscious or groaning in pain—L felt a bit guilty about that but then they shouldn't have gone about kidnapping him—and they should all survive provided they get medical attention. L casually made his way through the near identical corridors. It was all very white, very clean, and lit by very bright fluorescent lights—he was obviously in a hospital of some kind. He would regularly see fortified doors just like his own prison. He would occasionally hear the sound of screaming but he'd worry about that later. First get to safety. Then try to get in contact with Watari or Wammy's House… and then he would eat a chocolate cherry layer cake with vanilla and mint ice cream and rainbow sprinkles on top, and _then_ he would assess the situation and determine how to proceed…

_A hospital… AND HIM? They're working together? This is __**bad**_. Of course the latter could have just been a nightmare (dammit, it was _illogical_ to believe he was still haunting him after Kira put him in the ground) but the detective had learned to trust his instincts. If Watari had been kidnapped too his best bet was Wammy's. They _needed_ to know. L took a cellphone from one of the downed guards and began texting a quick message to Wammy's as he made his escape when a new set of guards arrived and began shooting at him. That was a bit distracting. L cursed as he accidentally sent the unfinished message to his emergency contact. You see _this?_ This was why he hated cellphones.

Well, he'd worry about that later. L ran in his awkward, embarrassing L way—all elbows and jerky movements—curse his kidnappers for making him run! But awkward or not his running seemed to be effective because now the exit was in sight…

L heard the dart whoosh through the air, but couldn't move fast enough to avoid having it lodged in the side of his neck and then everything began to get fuzzy.

_No, not again! The exit's right there! _

The detective tried to pull the deadweight of his body forward on his hands and knees, covering the last few inches to the door. The detective bit back a scream when a sleek, black high-heeled shoe was suddenly stomping on his creeping hand. His head spun with the pain and the darkness consumed him again.

00000

"Hey, Mells, wake up!" Matt said as he poked and prodded at his slumbering blonde roommate. At Matt's insistent attempts to wake him Mello only grumbled, mumbling something incoherent from beneath the covers.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Matt sang in an obnoxious, overly cheerful tone of voice. "It's a brand new day full of opportunities and possibilities!"

This time a clear "Fuck you" could be heard from within the pillow. But Matt was insistent with his strategy of annoying the blonde until awake.

"_Matt, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's too fucking early, you fucking faggot!_" Mello snarled, finally awake and aware, and Matt stifled a laugh. Admittedly, he normally wasn't much of a morning person either. He had only gotten up so early today because his new account on Epic Quest IV activated today and Matt was eager to begin his long-awaited payback against that n00b that got him banned last time…

But then he saw something that might help Mello in his own quest to get into L's good graces—the be-goggled teen had just been making his way back from the bathroom when he came across an interesting sight.

"Oh nothing, it's just Kira."

"What?" The blonde was suddenly awake and alert. "Something happen with Light? …Did the ghost get him?"

"_Maybe…_" Matt said, cryptically. "I just saw him running down that way like he had all the fiends of Hell after him…"

Mello gaped at his red-headed roommate as if he had grown a second head. It was nigh impossible to imagine that something could scare _Light_.

"Scared?"Matt smirked upon seeing the blood drain from Mello's face.

"Of course not!" Mello scoffed bravely as he ran Matt's Barbie-doll pink hairbrush through his long blonde hair. He refused to battle ghosts with bed head. He had his dignity. Mello chuckled evilly "But a _scared Light?_ Oh yeah, we totally have to see that!"

Still, Mello took his sweet time getting dressed—and not just getting dressed but in _that outfit_, the one that Matt had dubbed "The Death of a Thousand Cows." Mello called it getting in touch with his mob heritage. (Matt had laughed at the time only to later realize, to his horror, that the blonde was serious. Mello really thought that was what a "gangsta'" was supposed to look like from watching 80s movies.)

Since Roger usually had conniptions whenever Mello wore "The Death of a Thousand Cows," the blonde usually reserved the skin-tight leather pants for special occasions such as going into town and being seen in public. Matt groaned. He would have much preferred that Mello kept it in their bedroom. Matt didn't like the idea of anyone else getting to see that… It was for his own good, or course! Matt was surprised that Mello hadn't been mistaken for a hooker already.

As Mello laced up his skin-tight leather pants Matt pointed out that if Light actually was being pursued by a vengeful ghost he would be stone cold dead by the time they got there. Mello explained reasonably that if one is to fight a ghost, they must do it _in style _and besides if something did happen to Light… he would cry a thousand tears.

Mello retrieved various innocuous looking parts hidden around their dorm room and quickly assembled them into a whole...

"A _gun?_" Matt asked in surprise. "Do you really think that will do anything against a ghost?"

"A ghost? Probably not…" But then Mello didn't happen to have a proton pack on hand. Though he imagined a gun would be useful against Kira should he misbehave…

"L wants Kira alive." Matt reminded him.

Mello rolled his eyes and wondered when did Matt develop psychic powers?

Matt cringed as he watched how Mello stuffed the gun down the front of his pants.

"Alright, let's go."

"Mells… "Matt began, worriedly eyeing the other's crotch "Have you forgotten that valuable lesson _8 Mile_ taught us?"

"Matt, if you had been paying attention then you'd know it's not loaded."

All his ammo was currently locked away in Roger's office—all because the little albino brat had tattled on him. Mello had somehow managed to convince L and therefore the rest of Wammy's staff to let him keep the gun because "it was all he had left of his father" and besides, it wasn't like he was ever going to shoot anybody with it! (Except maybe Near.)

"I think he went in here." Matt said in a hushed tone as he lead Mello down the hallway, subconsciously taking on a stance mimicking the Ninja Assassin from his games. This was clearly a sneaking mission—that was fairly _obvious _to the boy in the bright orange shirt. Though apparently Mello disagreed—the boisterous blonde dramatically kicked the door open with his heavy booted heel. But when the door swung open, neither of them was prepared for the sight that greeted them on the other side...

"WHAT THE _FUCK?_"


	7. Chapter 7

**NOTICE**

I apologize in advance for spamming and I apologize to everyone who thought they were getting an update. I usually don't do the whole author note chapter thing but I thought it was the best way to get the word out before my account get deleted.

After ten years of no enforcement is suddenly going to start enforcing a "no sex and violence" policy:  
>www . change petitions  fanfiction – net – stop – the – destruction – of – fanfiction – net ? utm_campaign =friend _ inviter _ modal & utm_medium = facebook&utm _ source = share_petition

I'm here frequently on but I only just heard about this, so I figured it was important to get the word out.

I checked and the only warning on I could see was a single note on 's homepage:  
>"June 4th 2012 - Notices: ◦Please note we would like to clarify the content policy we have in place since 2002. follows the Fiction Rating system ranging from Fiction K to Fiction M. Although Fiction Ratings goes up to Fiction MA, since 2002 has not allowed Fiction MA rated content which can contain adultexplicit content on the site. only accepts content in the Fiction K through Fiction M range. Fiction M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions. Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA and has not been allowed on the site since 2002."

I know I don't exactly comb through mine for content and just rate it all M. But no doubt the vague descriptions of gay sex within these stories will offend the moral guardians.

Though I have to wonder what's left after you delete all the stories with sex and violence. There goes the Death Note fandom! And what about a fandom like... Saw?

If you don't think this applies to you then ask yourself, does your story:

Have action scenes?

Have romance scenes?

Mention a song?

**If you answered yes to any of those it is at risk of deletion.**

Or to put it another way would your story make a good episode of Sesame Street?

If yes you're probably safe but if no you may want to consider copying it over to another site.

Even if you don't think this applies to you it's still a good idea to have backups and considering they're going to suddenly start cracking down now after ten years of nothing they may be overzealous in their censorship. It would be a shame if a beautiful story is lost forever just because it says a naughty word.

So please move your stuff, copy your favorites before this goes into effect!

Some suggested sites:

livejournal . com

archiveofourown . org

deviantart . com

adultfanfiction . net

As for me, I will continue to write and update my stories—just not on fanfiction . net.

You can find me on Livejournal and archiveofourown. org as reaperlight and plannedbyreaperLight on deviantart . com

I would like to thank everyone, all of my readers and reviewers, for all their help and support and all the other writers out there keep on writing awesome stories!


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